aging

Study Like a Boss

Have you (or do you) experienced bad study habits?

J’ai de mauvaises habitudes d’etude! That’s French, for I have bad study habits. The thing is, my mind wanders, and I can become distracted at the drop of a donut. I wonder if we have any donuts left? One minute I am typing away on my assignment for the week; the next minute, I am surfing the net for mosquito repellent. I’m not absent-minded! I just have an acute interest in all things. Yeah, that’s it.

I have lived with inadequate study habits my entire life. It’s a struggle, people. It is a good thing I am so damned smart. Some would argue against that declaration. because sometimes I put my keys in the fridge and my popsicles in the car. You probably think that is old age, but you would only be partially correct. Just ask my best friend Mary about the time I left my young son with her to babysit and promptly got into my car….on the passenger side. No one was with me. Mary stood at the door, laughing her ass off. She even had my son giggling.

Where was I going with that? I digress sounds a bit more scholarly. Ahem.

All of the above demonstrates a few reasons for my lack of exemplary study habits. Even writing this blog is a pleasant diversion from producing doctoral-level essays week after week after week. I do not hate my studies; in fact, quite the opposite. I love pursuing my doctorate. That said, sometimes I miss just being foolish, silly, and goofing off. That is why I began studying French two months ago via the fabulous app called Duolingo. Doing so is my way of disguising fun and goofing off for a learning opportunity.

I’m kinda sneaky that way.

I have been spotted at Starbucks with my laptop, iPhone, and reading glasses more than once, looking all studious and serious. It is all a ruse, my friends. If you look closely, you will see I often glance at all those around me while listening to their conversations intensely. The whole adventure is tres amusant! A girl needs a little social time; since I am not very social, Starbucks helps me out.

On a more sedate note, doctoral school does command dedication, time, and sound study habits, so I commit myself to those endeavors consistently. It’s definitely more effort than I have ever put into any other study challenge, including my Masters. If you are currently involved in a situation involving self-discipline and cognitive overload, try taking a bit of a respite and enjoy yourself, if only for a few moments. It truly helps me power on!

Thank you so much for visiting my little creative space. I love it when you visit! Please leave a comment if you are so inclined. I’m going to find that donut now. Passez une journee fabuleuse!

Old Dog. New Tricks?

One word haunted my thoughts, dreams, and bathroom visits this week.

INFOGRAPHIC

Just looking at the word gives me the chills. Brings back childhood memories of teacher making me write dictionary on the blackboard fifty times because I failed to research the spelling of machine. I will never forget that day.

Well. This week has been one of those days.

This week’s assignment in beloved doctoral school was to create an infographic depicting the importance of core values in leaders in the education field. I had seven days to find an infographic from which to glean brilliance. I like creating brilliant things. Unfortunately, infographic brilliance eludes me. The ability to infograph (is that a word? Never mind, I don’t care at this point) does not exist in my skillset or mindset or the fact that I am set in my ways, so it is hard to learn new things.

So, are you all caught up on my life now? Don’t bother answering. It’s not a question. It is just me being a smartass because INFOGRAPHIC has been my life for an entire week. Others in my age demographic will attest that a week is a crucial length of time. I can get a lot of shit done in a week, even moving as slowly as my bones allow. But not this week. I was an INFOGRAPHER (not sure if that’s a word either, but I’m a rebel, so leave it to the chronic grammar police).

Normally, I welcome a challenge. In fact, I gave infographing an honest effort. The results looked pretty good to me. I would show you, but I just submitted it to my professor and probably should not brag too much yet.

Especially since I found a misspelled word and a bullet point with the wrong font size AFTER I submitted my work. Um hummmm. The injustice of the fucking SUBMIT BUTTON! I should protest the platform. Too much? Deep breaths, Terri.

I’m nothing if not surreptitiously suspicious.

And a poor sport when I don’t receive a perfect score.

Thank you for visiting my blog. It is Monday and I am not the little ray of sunshine today. I do love visitors who leave nice comments, though. Leave me a comment and I promise I will smile the rest of the day. Or just wave if you are so inclined. And don’t feel badly that I won’t be able to see your warmth. I can deal. But seriously, leave a comment so I can join in with all the global happiness and meditate while eating the awful veggie smoothie I just made. (Am I rambling again?)

J’ai besoin de chocolat

Calling All Young Whippersnappers

As a society, we make fun of people and situations to

  • Make ourselves feel better
  • Release anxiety
  • Curb Depression
  • Explain our delicate sensibilities/sensitivity/sexual frustrations. Pick one.
  • Pair with our favorite stimulant. My personal favorite. I get high on Peppermint Patties.
  • Show you are jealous that older people coined the phrase, “Get off my lawn!”

Young people (for me, anyone under 60) are taking said making fun to a whole other level. I turn on the TV or go on social media and cannot avoid the insults thrown at us old geezers. You should be ashamed of yourselves. Do you kiss your grandma with that mouth? Is your grandma single? Asking for a friend…

Friends, I enjoy a little fun and teasing as much as you do, but I do have something to say, and hopefully you will read on.

Let’s try to be kind and more empathetic, shall we? You don’t know what that old couple is going through. He might be fighting cancer, and she has aches and pains, but she takes care of his every need. And still, they smile and do for others. They don’t sit and feel sorry for themselves like so many people who have so much more do. They are stronger than anyone knows or will ever know.

And then there is the woman who figured out she had a brain, but later in life, and now studies hard every day to make up for that time and hopefully get her Doctorate to leave a legacy to her kids and grandkids. A legacy that says Mom finally did it; she lived her life’s dream. Many of us are late bloomers and don’t realize our worth or our real dreams until our golden years. Some of us realize it but don’t take steps to bring it to fruition. Some of us do. It is an individual decision, not one our relatives or friends should make.

We are the only ones who can live our life dream. If you know a senior striving to live their dream, encourage them. If you cannot encourage them because you don’t believe in their actions, do not insult them or tell them they are incapable. Just leave them to their dreams. You are not their higher power. They love you, and they have proven it for a lifetime. Love them back. Don’t criticize their every move. I have often seen and heard this happening to others, making me cry. I am very fortunate to have encouragement and love from my family, even though we are far apart. I feel the love, and it fuels my fire.

And for the love of your higher power, please stop complaining about benefits seniors receive. You also have yet to learn why they have the benefits or what they went through to get them. You will be there someday. Godspeed, you will know then if you don’t try to understand now. Educate yourself. It’s as simple as typing Google. If you don’t have time to find out the “why, “ you lack the knowledge or foundation from which you speak. So shut up about it. Please.

Thank you for taking the time out of your day to read my blog. Lately I have been reflective and introspective and a little grumpy, admittedly. Writing my feelings is part of my self-care, and your stopping by motivates me and makes my heart happy. Have a blessed day and be well. Much love…

Sweetie. Dearie. Honey. My name is Terri.

I swear to all the goddesses, cute kittens, and kind gentlemen who open doors for me, I will scream the next time someone calls me Sweetie. I’m not your sweetie. I’m no one’s sweetie. My delicate sensibilities don’t even bend in that direction. What am I, then?

My name is Terri, for cryin’ out loud.

I am also no authority on names that complete strangers call senior citizens but trust me when I say you are doing no one a favor by putting us in a cute little feebly-named box. Am I pissed? No.

I am being not sweet, not dear, and definitely not honey.

We all have the right to free speech, but have we forgotten our manners while standing on our soap boxes and preaching about all our rights and wrongs? I suppose I am doing that by sounding off about the condescending and dismissing of us people of a certain age. So sue me.

But while you’re suing me, please call me by my name, and I will afford you the same common courtesy.

I included this image just for fun. I’m really not that scary.

Ya’ll hurry back now, ya hear? But please bring your manners.

I will even make us some coffee.

Never Give Up

Did you ever give up on something especially important to you? If so, do you remember how you felt just afterward? A year after that? Now?

It is quite sobering, isn’t it? I’m not asking because I want to put a damper on your holiday frolicking. I have regrets. I have doubts. I have given up on something important in my life, as well. This time of year brings all those sad and bittersweet feelings to the surface for me.

Conversely, it helps me realize I am human and have had an amazing life thus far, even without being famous or beautiful. You see, the extraordinary thing about our lives is that we have the opportunity to choose which way to turn next. Oh, some of life’s turns are made for us without our permission or liking; but it’s how we move on that reveals our strength of character and bravery to approach the unknown.

I’m quite certain my stubborn resolve steers my boat and keeps me off the dangerous rocks. Oh, I have been frightfully close to crashing a few times, but each time, I learn so much about this world and myself, even at the ripe old age of 69. For a while, I was diffident about stating my age, although my face reveals a telltale roadmap. By adjusting my mindset just a tad, I meet my senior citizen days head-on, with an inner strength I hadn’t possessed up until now.

Today, I will not give up on my dream, which is to earn that doctorate and make some kind of mark that I was here and participated in a way that fulfills me while helping someone else. We all strive to do the same in our own unique ways.

So, yes, I gave up on something important long ago, and I felt tremendous anguish at the time. A year after that, my stomach still ached with the thought of my decision. Now, however, I draw strength from the realization that I still have choices to make. Never give up on you.

“Never give up on something that you can’t go a day without thinking about.”

~ Winston Churchill

Thank you so much for stopping by to read my thoughts and ramblings. Wishing you all a safe, jubilant holiday full of love. I hope you return to my creative space again and again. Be well. Be kind. Find your joy.

Mature Women and Hot Weather

Upon further reflection of this post’s title, I fear readership may decline for lack of interest. Maybe I should have titled it, “Hot, Mature Women,” or “Mature Women get Hot.” One wonders how far one might go for readership. All that being said, the title remains as is, and this hot, mature woman shall press on. And what the hell, you have gotten this far; you may as well accompany me.

Pretty please.

Hell is alive and well in Georgia. Temps are in the high 90s and humidity is hovering around two or three hundred percent, give or take.

It sure as hell feels like hell.

We women of a certain age are not only mature, but we are also wise. We will not be doing any porch sitting in this heat unless, of course, the power bill was not paid. I certainly hope we are way too wise for that, ladies! Of course, if you still have a husband, he obviously forgot to pay the bill. He owes you! May I offer you some advice? Make his cheap ass take you to a hotel during this Georgia Hell and turn the air-conditioning to the ‘polar bear’ setting. He does not have to stay if he misses that porch…make sure he knows that. When he leaves, rejoice and order room service.

You are welcome.

I think it is highly unfair that men can go shirtless, but women must cover-up. It really should be the other way around. After all, we women have a lot more to show off. Just imagine going out to mow the lawn, wearing a t-shirt and a freaking bra (because god-forbid your boobs might jiggle), instantly dripping in sweat, and cursing at global warming. Taking one’s shirt off would not only cool one down but would beautify the neighborhood. Remember, beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. Fuck your neighbors if they don’t see the beauty. Their boobs probably sag, too, and I’m not just talking about the female neighbors. Have you seen saggy men-boobs? On the upside, the entertainment value of your property would probably rise exponentially. But may I offer you some advice? Maybe just chuck the whole lawn-mowing plan and have ice cream instead. If that drips on your boobs, instant coolness!  Win-win situation.

Once again, you are welcome. I am nothing if not a woman with a plethora of unsolicited ideas.

In my never-ending quest to find the good in growing older, it only occurred to me the other day that we mature women have the ability to turn uncomfortable situations in our favor. Next time you are sitting on that porch (and this only works when you are not alone), start fanning yourself, up and down, all over. Complain in no uncertain terms that, “It is hotter than deep-fried hell.” Repeat as necessary, until you have gained sympathy from anyone within earshot. Then, revel in your success as someone offers you a cold beverage. Ladies, we no longer have to be the ones who serve. Make sure to order exactly what pleases you. You want to make good on this getting older crap.

After all, Matriarchs Matter. Am I right??

Thank you for visiting my special bloggy place. I may get a little cranky when those damned kids are on my lawn, but I am delighted to see you here! Please comment below if you are so inclined. Have a fabulous day, be kind, and find your joy. And kiss your favorite matriarch. I heard that doing so brings good luck.

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Old Broad’s Perspective

Hello internet! First day back on What’s in Terri’s Head in a very long time! I’m in the mood to share and it’s time to start writing again. That being said, I have been wrestling with the whole theme, idea, or writing purpose, if you will, that I wish to convey. Sure, I want you to read my blog, but I want to enjoy writing it. That’s why I’m back. I’m hoping this is the beginning of much writing (and reading, on your part) enjoyment!

Since I left you, my partner of 21 years, Joan, passed away (last year) and it’s been a long, painful road through grief and toward recovery. I’m not there yet, and I expect I will be working through my issues for some time to come. However, my outlook toward life has greatly improved and I’m doing okay now, for an old broad.

I will catch you up on the two year lapse in future posts, but for now I want to say hello and welcome back! I even hope to get some new readers, so if you like my ramblings, please recommend me to a friend or two.

What will you have to gain by reading my blog? Well, I sincerely hope you will see an honest, sometimes blunt approach to life at my age. There’s a lot of misconception, misinformation, and down-right misguided assumptions about people of a certain age out there. I’m not just stating opinion; I have real-life experiences and facts with which to share my perspective.

An old broad’s perspective. I like it! I think I’ve found my niche, or at least a place to start! Please check back often, as I’m hoping to share every day I’m able.