Humor

Learn French, they said. It will be fun, they said.

I may have mentioned that, along with my scholarly studies, reality TV binge-watching, and procrastination disguised as mindful meditation, I have diligently and competitively taken up French.

The language, not the lifestyle, sadly.

The French language is so beautiful, but it is difficult. So far, I have learned over 1500 words, and yet when I try to put together a simple sentence to show off to friends, I can only think of one word: Mange. Mange means to eat. Eating is a favorite activity of mine, and of course, it makes perfect sense that I would remember it in French. I also know french fries, french toast, and French-pressed coffee. Oh yeah, and croissant. That one really is French. Delectably French. I could totally mange on a yummy croissant right now, in fact!

Mais je digress…

So, you are probably wondering (if you are still awake) why I would tackle this new and (I will say it again, in case you missed it) DIFFICULT language. I am still pondering that myself. Most of the time, I make a Pros and Cons list before beginning a journey that might take me through the gates of hell. This time, however, I covered both eyes and jumped into the deep end of the Duolingo language app. You can do that because the cool little app will even read to you.

Gawd, I love technology.

My learning process includes speaking, reading, spelling, making sentences that look way longer than the English equivalents, and cursing. I can’t curse in French yet, but that day is coming. Meanwhile, my tried, true, and practiced expletives fly every time I try to figure out which verb goes where. I am consistently inconsistent and frequently choose a different verb tense for the same damned sentence because my French retention sucks.

And furthermore….

The art of speaking French eludes me. I can read a lot of it now, but when I try to speak, I sound like a donkey with a sore throat or a very confused parrot. The verb tenses torture my delicate sensibilities; I kid you not! Each verb tense sounds exactly the same. For example, let’s go back to my favorite French word, mange. See below. Caution! It’s deceptive!

I (Je) mange

You (tu) manges

They (Ils) mangent

We (nous) mangeons

You notice how each tense has a different ending, right? WELLLLL, it is all a ruse, people. When I listen to the little cartoon dude in Duolingo, he says mange for every single tense of the verb! It is driving me bananas! And to bruise my ego even further, Duolingo wants me to type back what the little dude says. I get it correct about 25% of the time. I came up with that number because there are four choices and that’s as close as I want to get to math.

Is it time to throw my hands up in the air and say Fuck IT, Duolingo? Should I just go to Spain instead of Paris when I go to Europe? Yeah, that’s what I should do. I can speak a little Spanish, and when verbs are pronounced, you can actually hear the difference…..well, if you slow the sound down and maybe play it over and over. But I am nothing if not a patient pontificator!

Whew, that felt good. But I love French! I cannot quit. I think I love the little Duolingo dude, too. Love is love, people.

Viva le France!

Thank you for visiting my little creative space. I get a little crazy sometimes, but it’s all in fun. I love it when you visit. Please come back if you enjoyed my ramblings. Have a wonderful week, be kind, and find your joy!

Study Like a Boss

Have you (or do you) experienced bad study habits?

J’ai de mauvaises habitudes d’etude! That’s French, for I have bad study habits. The thing is, my mind wanders, and I can become distracted at the drop of a donut. I wonder if we have any donuts left? One minute I am typing away on my assignment for the week; the next minute, I am surfing the net for mosquito repellent. I’m not absent-minded! I just have an acute interest in all things. Yeah, that’s it.

I have lived with inadequate study habits my entire life. It’s a struggle, people. It is a good thing I am so damned smart. Some would argue against that declaration. because sometimes I put my keys in the fridge and my popsicles in the car. You probably think that is old age, but you would only be partially correct. Just ask my best friend Mary about the time I left my young son with her to babysit and promptly got into my car….on the passenger side. No one was with me. Mary stood at the door, laughing her ass off. She even had my son giggling.

Where was I going with that? I digress sounds a bit more scholarly. Ahem.

All of the above demonstrates a few reasons for my lack of exemplary study habits. Even writing this blog is a pleasant diversion from producing doctoral-level essays week after week after week. I do not hate my studies; in fact, quite the opposite. I love pursuing my doctorate. That said, sometimes I miss just being foolish, silly, and goofing off. That is why I began studying French two months ago via the fabulous app called Duolingo. Doing so is my way of disguising fun and goofing off for a learning opportunity.

I’m kinda sneaky that way.

I have been spotted at Starbucks with my laptop, iPhone, and reading glasses more than once, looking all studious and serious. It is all a ruse, my friends. If you look closely, you will see I often glance at all those around me while listening to their conversations intensely. The whole adventure is tres amusant! A girl needs a little social time; since I am not very social, Starbucks helps me out.

On a more sedate note, doctoral school does command dedication, time, and sound study habits, so I commit myself to those endeavors consistently. It’s definitely more effort than I have ever put into any other study challenge, including my Masters. If you are currently involved in a situation involving self-discipline and cognitive overload, try taking a bit of a respite and enjoy yourself, if only for a few moments. It truly helps me power on!

Thank you so much for visiting my little creative space. I love it when you visit! Please leave a comment if you are so inclined. I’m going to find that donut now. Passez une journee fabuleuse!

Old Dog. New Tricks?

One word haunted my thoughts, dreams, and bathroom visits this week.

INFOGRAPHIC

Just looking at the word gives me the chills. Brings back childhood memories of teacher making me write dictionary on the blackboard fifty times because I failed to research the spelling of machine. I will never forget that day.

Well. This week has been one of those days.

This week’s assignment in beloved doctoral school was to create an infographic depicting the importance of core values in leaders in the education field. I had seven days to find an infographic from which to glean brilliance. I like creating brilliant things. Unfortunately, infographic brilliance eludes me. The ability to infograph (is that a word? Never mind, I don’t care at this point) does not exist in my skillset or mindset or the fact that I am set in my ways, so it is hard to learn new things.

So, are you all caught up on my life now? Don’t bother answering. It’s not a question. It is just me being a smartass because INFOGRAPHIC has been my life for an entire week. Others in my age demographic will attest that a week is a crucial length of time. I can get a lot of shit done in a week, even moving as slowly as my bones allow. But not this week. I was an INFOGRAPHER (not sure if that’s a word either, but I’m a rebel, so leave it to the chronic grammar police).

Normally, I welcome a challenge. In fact, I gave infographing an honest effort. The results looked pretty good to me. I would show you, but I just submitted it to my professor and probably should not brag too much yet.

Especially since I found a misspelled word and a bullet point with the wrong font size AFTER I submitted my work. Um hummmm. The injustice of the fucking SUBMIT BUTTON! I should protest the platform. Too much? Deep breaths, Terri.

I’m nothing if not surreptitiously suspicious.

And a poor sport when I don’t receive a perfect score.

Thank you for visiting my blog. It is Monday and I am not the little ray of sunshine today. I do love visitors who leave nice comments, though. Leave me a comment and I promise I will smile the rest of the day. Or just wave if you are so inclined. And don’t feel badly that I won’t be able to see your warmth. I can deal. But seriously, leave a comment so I can join in with all the global happiness and meditate while eating the awful veggie smoothie I just made. (Am I rambling again?)

J’ai besoin de chocolat

Banks, Weather, and Politics…oh my!

Whew! I am exhausted. How are you all doing? I am surprised more of us are not hospitalized at this point. I am so over this whole deal with the crazy weather everywhere, the banks failing, and the pitiful previous commander in chief wannabee next president calling the other wannabee next president “sanctimonious” and other colorful adjectives. It is a bit much.

But I digress.

I was working on an assignment for school the other day, and I had my favorite YouTube channels playing on my big monitor, one after the other…for background noise, and a little company. Don’t judge. Even grumpy old doctoral students need some form of social interaction. I do not apologize for my choices; I just suffer along and pretend they were all intentional.

Anyway, where was I?

I was plugging along with my academic brilliance and trying really hard to stay “in the moment,” if you will. Somehow, my attention was diverted to Andrea from MSNBC on a YouTube video. She was hosting three talking heads, none of whom I recognized or cared to hear. I tolerate Andrea, but my favorites are Rachel, Nicole, Alex, and Lawrence, and quite frankly, I do not pay a whole lot of attention to the rest of the bunch.

Toutes mes excuses. Let’s move on.

The talking heads, repeatedly interrupted by Andrea, were all complaining about something, but none of them were complaining about the same thing. That stuck out with me because those people are normally invited on news shows for a particular purpose. I think Andrea was a little confused, as well, and although my patience was waning, I bordered on actually feeling sorry for her and her dilemma. Then I remembered that she makes millions of dollars and my feelings of empathy flew right out the door.

Meanwhile…

I never did figure out what they were discussing because my attention was once again diverted to something completely unrelated to news or doctoral pursuits. Again, don’t judge me. I do not live in a vacuum. Actually, I noticed a little pile of dirt and some kind of strange debris in a corner of my living room, so I vacuumed it up right away.

Don’t hate me because I am scatterbrained and procrastinate.

Love me because I am tidy.

Thank you for visiting my blog. I really appreciate your stopping by to read my creative efforts. Please come by anytime, and feel free to leave a comment, if you are so inclined. I love hearing from you! Je vous souhaite une belle journee!

Happy Half-Birthday To Me

Do you celebrate your half-birthday? I’m pretty sure lots of kids do, but how many of us adults celebrate?

I do. And I have for my entire life.

Today I am 69 and a half years old. Pretty cool, huh?

To celebrate, I’m making lasagna for dinner. No cake.

But if anyone has an extra “gummy bear,” I could celebrate in grand style. Just sayin..

What else should I do today?

Practice my French lessons. Yep.

Take the trash out. Nope

Do a little homework. Yep, but very little. I’m celebrating, not synthesizing. Other doctoral students will totally get this one.

Wait patiently for all my birthday presents to arrive. You did remember to send me a birthday present, right?

Fun Facts from Wikipedia:

The IRS stuck their noses right smack in the middle of Half Birthdays! Check this out:

“In the U.S., some tax-related penalties are related to half-years, such as a 10% penalty for making an early withdrawal from an IRA before age 59½. The federal government defines the half-year as being “six calendar months” after the anniversary of birth, regardless of what day of the month this produces.” **

Turns out, IDAHO is pretty cool after all. They let kids behind the wheel on their 14 and a Half Birthday! What??

“In many states in the U.S., the minimum age to obtain a learner permit occurs on a half-birthday, such as 14½ in Idaho, 14 years and eight months in Michigan, 15½ in California, and 15 years and nine months in Maryland. The same is true for receiving a restricted license when a minor in many states.” **

Well, that’s my blog for today. Compelling? Riveting? Maybe not, but I bet I made you smile. After all, the vast majority of my readers are younger than me. I’m okay with that because I love you all. Come back soon, and we will discuss something profound that requires critical thinking skills and a bottle of red wine. Beaucoup de vin s’il vous plait.

** Information in quotes found on the Wikipedia.com website.

February. Bah Humbug.

I’m right there with ya, JD Robb. Praise be.

February is halfway finished. I am halfway happy about it. I realize that I say this every year, but I am not a fan of February. Most people probably feel like January is less popular, but January is the new year, and on the very first day, they have a big party worldwide just to welcome January in. Personally, I celebrate January because the freaking exhaustive holiday season is finally over.

But What happens in February? Uh. Valentine’s Day. Big whoop. Frivolous and expensive if you have a significant other; pitiful and perusing-online-dating-sites if you don’t. I am in the latter group. My sister did buy me a nice box of Valentine’s chocolates, so there’s that. Still, I hate February, so I will provide a list of reasons to prove it. So here goes…

  • My sister felt so sorry for me, she bought me a box of chocolates.
  • I was in the hospital on two separate Fridays, and yes, on the 13th. Both times. I hate hospitals.
  • I married both of my ex-husbands in February. Not at the same time. Still, that’s some sucky luck.
  • Stupid February, and its 28 days. Every 4 years, they add one day just to confuse everyone and make it 29 days. Or is it the other way around? How the hell am I supposed to remember that? Sheesh.
  • It is cold as fuck in February, even in Georgia. Two stages of hell right there. I should start a list of why I don’t like Georgia. The first item would be Marjorie Taylor Greene. That’s enough. I wouldn’t need to write another item on that list. It would be enough to send anyone running for the border.
  • Everyone seems to be in a bad mood in February. Or is it just me?
  • February sucks.

Don’t hate me because I am grumpy. Love me because I am forthright.

After all, it IS Valentine’s Day.

Sweetie. Dearie. Honey. My name is Terri.

I swear to all the goddesses, cute kittens, and kind gentlemen who open doors for me, I will scream the next time someone calls me Sweetie. I’m not your sweetie. I’m no one’s sweetie. My delicate sensibilities don’t even bend in that direction. What am I, then?

My name is Terri, for cryin’ out loud.

I am also no authority on names that complete strangers call senior citizens but trust me when I say you are doing no one a favor by putting us in a cute little feebly-named box. Am I pissed? No.

I am being not sweet, not dear, and definitely not honey.

We all have the right to free speech, but have we forgotten our manners while standing on our soap boxes and preaching about all our rights and wrongs? I suppose I am doing that by sounding off about the condescending and dismissing of us people of a certain age. So sue me.

But while you’re suing me, please call me by my name, and I will afford you the same common courtesy.

I included this image just for fun. I’m really not that scary.

Ya’ll hurry back now, ya hear? But please bring your manners.

I will even make us some coffee.

Storytelling Wednesday…..Postponed for a Few Weeks

*Image created by Tina Anton. See all her beautiful art on Instagram @Ti_Does_Art

I regret that I must postpone Storytelling Wednesdays for a few weeks. I recently had a few setbacks, and because of those, I am behind in my school work and work. Thank you for your patience with me. Things will get back to normal soon, whatever normal is.

It’s happening, friends! I’m bringing back Soap Opera Wednesday after ten years! Now called Storytelling Wednesday, the new and improved weekly offering will commence next Wednesday, December 14th! I am so excited I could vacuum (and we all know how much I hate doing that!)

Why am I resurrecting my old soap opera storytelling addiction and welcoming it back into the blogging universe? I’m so glad you asked!

I’m bored. JUST KIDDING! I don’t have time to be bored, but a Writer.Gotta.Write.

I’m nothing if not a voracious overachiever. Sans success, fame, and money. I swear I’m doing it for personal gratification! And the attention I get from my lovely readers.

IF…

…you were with me ten years ago when I was suffering through my Master’s work and writing a soap opera called “Sara’s Sleep,” you will understand why I might want to do it again. Because of that successful attempt way back then, my soap was picked up by an independent publisher and morphed into a cute novella for which I am moderately proud. Of course, the company went under, but I SWEAR it wasn’t my fault! I was a mere unsuspecting author wannabee, so excited to be published.

Amazon sales started out nicely but slowed quickly and averaged around five books per month. Still, that was something. My second book, as you know, was published by me, and the sales were much better than the first.

But I digress. While I cry. I need a moment…

But anyhow…..I’m doing this, and I hope you will visit at least every Wednesday, and see if my new soap opera moves you, makes you laugh, makes you think, or makes you want to find another blog. Give it a chance, if only because my fingers will probably be bleeding from the sheer work I will do for my readers. Passionate, mind-numbing, soul-searching, coffee-gulping work. You gotta know how inspiring that can be. Am I right?

I sincerely thank you for taking time out of your day to read my renderings. I do hope to see you on Storytelling Wednesday, and any other day you care to grace my bloggy doorsteps. Happy Christmas. Stay safe. Sending much love and joy your way.

I am Not Stubborn!

Back in the dark ages, when I was a little girl, I remember my Mom asking me why I was so stubborn. I could actually picture her face when she asked me. It was kinda scrunched up in a frowny crumple. My mom was a beautiful woman, but not when her face frowny crumpled. And just to set the record straight, my Mom was prodigiously stubborn. She could hold a grudge for years, and she did, but I cannot go into details else a very nice family member will cease to have anything to do with me. That person is also stubborn.

This post may take a while. I’m trying to figure out background colors and such on my blog, failing miserably. However, I will not quit until I have mastered the art of beautifying the blog. Just because I have two articles due today for my writing job and another torturous PowerPoint presentation to prepare for school does not mean I will give up on this crucial background color business. No, I’m not stubborn at all! I wonder if there is a YouTube video on WordPress blog background bullshit? Or even more importantly, I wonder why I care? It is actually making me anxious. I may need an escape, and right now being “in the moment” with mindfulness meditation sounds pretty freaking good. Does anyone have a yoga mat, sleeping mask, and glass of merlot? Those should help. And if you don’t have the mask or mat, just bring the merlot. A whole bottle if you have it. Why the hell I picked today to make a pink background with wine-colored lettering boggles my mind. And I wanted to add some pretty flowers because I’m feeling a little hippie today, but that’s just not happening. I could be up all night, and it’s not even noon yet.

What the hell did I do? I didn’t touch anything, I swear! OMGosh, I am not having a scholarly moment. Okay folks, I am vacating the premises while I still have a modicum of patience and a pulse. Check back in a day or two, if you are so inclined. I promise to have this wretched impasse solved. And I may even comb my hair. Find your joy.

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Is There an Upside to Being Broke?

Why, yes! Yes, there is. You cannot shop until you drop!

You’re welcome for that little Black Friday Pick-Me-Up.

I’m nothing if not emphatically empathetic. It’s a gift…

Okay, I’m not exactly broke; just nurturing my frugal sensibilities ever since COVID sucked the social aspects of life right out of me. I am pricing things now instead of “shopping my feelings.” Heck, I even compared the prices of broccoli and asparagus before buying tofu instead. Don’t judge. I’m craving my ex-husband’s pork tofu.

No, that is not a sexual innuendo. Although I can see how your mind might go there.

The dude makes some stellar pork tofu! I had my son call him for the recipe. I don’t want to call him and upset his wife. I know she is jealous of me. Okay, maybe she is not jealous but rather annoyed with me for calling him on his birthday, Christmas, Easter, the 4th of July, and National Margarita Day. I’m friendly, and he is the father of my 40-year-old baby boy. Just sayin..

Now, where was I?

I am actually writing this on Thanksgiving at almost midnight. The Baileys and Coffee finally wore off, but I am wide awake, people. Let’s party! So, who is shopping on Black Friday? I will be kind not to berate you for spending your kids’ college money on those Jimmy Choo’s you must have for New Year’s Eve. After all, you probably saved a whole $100, and they only set you back $2000. NICE!

No, I won’t tease. Instead, I will revel in the little chuckle I will get when you tell me about that new 55-inch TV you fought over at Walmart. Seriously, how many 55-inch TVs does one household need? I ask you. I have one in my living room, and I have a giant monitor on my desk next to a giant screen on my laptop. But how do I watch a favorite TV show?

I take my phone to bed and stare at the itty bitty screen.

Now my eyes are worse from my bad habits, and I may need to sell my 55-inch TV to afford the eye doctor. Thank you, “Grey’s Anatomy.” I cannot believe I am still hooked on that show anymore since McDreamy was killed off!

Life. Is. A. Party. Am I right? This is what I shopped for online today! Check it out. It is an ORB FLYING BALL. It hovers. You can play catch with it, all by yourself or with a two-year-old. I must have this.

Thank you for actually reading this post. When my silliness is on overload, I shamelessly overshare. I love my readers, and my readership count is growing. I may actually hit double-digits within the next…couple of years. I’m psyched.

Be kind to yourself.

Help someone in need.

Dance like Jennifer Lopez. I dare ya.

You cannot possibly be broke with all your blessings. Count them.

Find your joy.

Home -> https://whatsinterrishead.com/